i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
my dream way of dealing with street harassment
The Opposite end of traditional “street harassment”: the girl who never get’s cat called
In feminist spaces I see a lot of feminists complain about being street harassed. I read about it and I totally sympathize with their experiences, even though I have never experienced them myself. I am a female myself but am not conventionally attractive. I am not hideous but more or less a plain jane. On top of that I have ALWAYS valued comfort over style, so dressing feminine isn’t something I do on a regular basis. I wear a lot of loose jeans and T-shirts. But yeah, anyway, know that I am not trying to play “who has it harder” or anything but rather I am making this to share my experiences of getting the opposite end of the shit-covered stick that is street harassment that I don’t see being mentioned. I call it street dismissal.
When I say street dismissal I am talking about men who feel the need to subtly announce that unattractive women are not worthy of respect or acknowledgement because they are not a conventionally attractive female or their fellow man.
Some examples I’ve personally experienced include:
- Many guys at parties will arrive or leave, give all the men handshakes, give the attractive women hugs, but won’t even make eye contact with me. I am not a guy or a hot girl so I don’t exist.
- I’ve been bumped into in public without an apology by men. I am not an attractive girl or your fellow man, so it makes sense for you to not even notice I am there.
- One time I was walking behind a group of attractive women. A guy spotted us. Opened the door for the three women and shut the door in my face. I am not worthy of his time because I am not attractive.
- I once was charged a cover on ladies night because I went out to the bar in my work uniform. (red shirt khaki pants)
- Another time at a bar, I saw an open space to order a drink. The guy sitting next to me saw me, raised his eyebrows and turned the other way to make sure I don’t DARE try to talk to him. (Because I totally went there to hit on him and NOT get a drink right?)
- I once went with my gay male friend to a straight guys house he knew. The first thing out of the straight guy’s mouth was “I was totally excited when you had a chick with you. Nevermind!” the whole night he offered my friend drinks and didn’t offer me a thing and seemed frustrated when I asked where the bathroom was. The only other thing he said that night was “do you have any hot single friends that would come over here?”
- Another time I went with a female friend of mine to get drinks. We met up with her guy friend. He ordered a round of beers for everyone except me. His excuse was “he didn’t know she was going to bring someone along and he is low on money” that was until his guy friend from high school showed up unexpectedly and he quickly bought him a drink.
These are just examples that have happened to me. So my question is are there any other “unattractive” girls out there that experience things similar to this?
I just wanted to speak from the other perspective. We always hear the horror stories of sexism from the perspective of the women who are objectified by men in the sense of “oo I want that.” and not too many in the sense of “oo, ew DO NOT WANT”
This may seem like a big long rant that looks like “WAH PRETTY GIRLS GET THINGS AND I DON’T OH MY LIFE SUCKS” but I don’t mean to come off that way. Because I feel the need to mention that guys don’t do this just to get laid. This is where it’s important to bring up the fact that we are treated with less respect than other men. Men aren’t decent people to other men because they want to fuck them. They are decent to them because they see them as equals that deserve basic respect and acknowledgement. But we are women and to these men either you try to fuck them because they are hot or want them to go away. An unattractive woman has no purpose to him.
Misogyny affects all women negatively.
THIS IS IMPORTANTAs a woman who gained a lot of weight right out of high-school and spent 3 years in ill fitting clothes and various terrible haircuts, then lost the weight in her early twenties and drastically refined her look — I have lived both sides of this equation. And I think having experienced the dismissal makes it all the more glaringly obvious how hollow the so called “positive” attention really is.
"street dismissal" YES OH MY GOD THANK YOU I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO DESCRIBE THIS
Back when I used to not really put any effort into my appearance, when going out with friends who had bigger chests and wore more flattering clothing I was often ignored by the guys we would encounter, once by THE WAITER WHO WAS SERVING OUR TABLE. He only acknowledged me twice the entire time and that was when I was ordering my drink and then my food. My friend? Oh, he joked around with her, asked her how her food was every once in a while, and told her to have a good night. My friend actually started to pick up on it after the third time he came by to check up on HER (aka talk directly to her and make eye contact with her but not even glance in my direction) and got pretty miffed at him. Needless to say, we did NOT leave him a tip. The frequency of this type of situation actually got to a point where I was depressed that I WASN’T receiving any attention or harassment. I didn’t consider myself a “real woman” and basically resigned myself to the fact that no man would ever find me desirable. Of course, I know now that the way I was thinking is utter garbage, but there’s something to be said when women and girls don’t find it odd to genuinely base their self worth on whether or not men find them “worthy” of any kind of interaction.
I was fooling around with paperclips and scrap wire on my desk and it turned into something.
fooling around with paperclips and scrap wire
isn’t that what the quarians said right before they accidentally started a war with the geth?
After 97 years… mankind finally goes back home. Don’t miss The 100 series premiere Wednesday, March 19 at 9/8c!
"You don’t get to treat me like crap just ‘cause you’re afraid.”
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